Fatherhood
Two weeks ago something happened to me that I had no way to prepare for. I guess God had been preparing my heart for the last year for this to happen. It is already changing the way that I interact with others.
Let me give you some background so that you see why this was such a big deal.
Simply put, as I was young growing up I did not have a father who loved me but instead, my siblings and I were abused and afraid of my father.
After him, I had seen a series of hurtful men come through my life and none of them ever represented what a good Father was. I basically grew up thinking to myself that I knew that they weren’t good dads, so the only dad that I really had was God. Yet I didn’t know what a good dad really looked like.
Over this last year and probably even longer, there has been an ongoing theme happening around me and that is fatherhood.
1st – My mom’s husband has been the start of seeing what a good husband is and he has truly been helping shape my image of a good father also as he has been amazingly kind to me and supportive.
2nd – Here on the YWAM base that I am staff on in Taiwan, the base leader has been a great representation of a good father to his kids and I have also been able to see that as he has mentored me in some ways over these years.
3rd – The leader of the school that I teach in has twin boys and not only has been a good father who is involved with them, but he has a huge heart for all the men on the base here and genuinely wants to see me and them grow into Godly men. He has also represented what a good father is to me. The first thing I think of about him is his father heart. When I have messed up and needed to come to apologize to him or to others, he has been a man that built me up and said that he was proud of the man I am becoming.
4th – My bachelor party had about 20 men who I honor and respect highly from home in Victoria (You know who you are) all pour out life and support on me and collectively told me that they were proud of me. I find myself in tears just thinking of you. Those words were not spoken to me as a child by a man and it has been so healing to me and has meant more than you know. I love you guys.
5th – Amber’s dad, my father-in-law has stepped into a place of being a good dad as well. He is full of love and compassion, patience and generosity and support and I am blessed to be able to joke with him, talk with him and know that he loves me.
It is amazing to me to see how strong of an impact my biological father had on me. I seemed to need to see many other examples to understand fatherhood and even then, I still didn’t quite get it.
Two weeks ago, I was worshiping and praying and felt like I just needed prayer, so I asked my friend Raymond to pray over me. He prayed about fatherhood and God being my dad and somehow, I have no idea why it was right then, God revealed to me what He wanted me to understand about Him as my Dad. I realized that God wanted me to be able to fully embrace Him as my dad. (I know this seems simple but somehow through the Holy Spirit, I actually got it..)
I asked Raymond for a hug and I was weeping so heavily as I pictured God, my Father and Lord hugging me and telling me that He really is proud of me and just wants me to be with Him first, everything else will come from that.
Then later I felt like God was telling me to imagine my biological father hugging me as if he was a good loving dad and to see that God was there in that place also……
Wow… I don’t know how to describe how big of a deal that this was. I never in my life have been able to picture my physical father as a good father. I immediately was pouring tears again and healed of the hurts that I held onto.
This has given me a freedom in relationships with men that even these last 2 weeks has impacted.
I want to be a good father to my children and want to see them grow up knowing that they are loved by their father and by their true father God. I want to be a good husband and a Godly man that represents Jesus well so that anyone who sees, would know that God loves them and that He is a good good Father.
God is good. So so good.
Evangelism
These last 2 weeks I have met 2 very different people who I had the opportunity to share the gospel with and it was one’s first time hearing about Jesus. He is a young guy who is just 13 and speaks very little to no English. He is in a place where there is a church downstairs from him and his Grandma is Christian but he never thought about it. Last night he told me that he would be thinking about it this week so please pray for him (Owen) that God will reveal Himself to Owen and that Owen will begin to seek the Lord.
The other person was a girl in her 20’s who believes in Jesus but doesn’t fully understand what it means to seek to live a holy life. She is struggling with identity as she is caught up with the worldly way of living (details not needed). Please pray that she begins to understand God’s love for her and that she begins to read her Bible. (I suggested that she start with John and hopefully will be able to discuss it with her later)
I’ll keep her name private.
God is moving a lot around here and I am really excited to see more people accept Jesus into their lives!
Generosity
This is the last thing on the email and I will write another one at a later date about one other thing.
Amber and I have been challenged recently in the area of Generosity and we just want to be obedient to what God is calling us to do no matter what the cost and no matter how difficult it will look.
I won’t give many details but instead I just want to recommend that you watch this 3 minute video from Rick Warren: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69Z8PyKbPsY&t=1s
God bless you my friends and family! I love you!
Love is the answer – Humility is the key – Jesus is the way
Jacob President
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